ESTÍBALIZ VICENTE Health Psychologist at Bilbao Psychology Center
It is common for different people to ask psychologists how they can help a family member, friend, or loved one who suffers from depression. The search for the correct way to act in these cases is quite frustrating and causes a feeling of impotence. There is little information and seeing the deep sadness of those we love generates fear and doubt when it comes to acting safely in our intention to help.
In order to help, we need to feel confident about the kind of help we want to give. Who cares needs to feel capable of caring and strong to be able to do it. The position of those who accompany loved ones with depression is also very complicated. In the attempt to find the best way to care, many caregivers end up suffering physical and emotional complications. Therefore, it is very important to protect yourself so that this does not happen.
Here are some keys to help a loved one suffering from depression in the best possible way:
1. Accept depression as a disease and learn how the brain works in it. When talking about mental illness, we tend to trivialize its severity. However, it is very important to understand that depression is itself an illness. Depressed people are not people who do not want to get out of the state of apathy and sadness due to laziness or lack of will.
Specifically, in the brain of depressed people, there is an increase in stress that activates the production of cortisol and this gives rise to a process of brain inflammation that places the brain of the depressed person with 30% inflammation more than a healthy brain. In addition, there are numerous studies that indicate how in depressed people the amygdala, which is a brain area that is related to emotional processing, is disconnected from that network and this would cause an alteration in the way of perceiving information towards a more pessimistic and negative
2. Ask yourself if you can help as the depressed person needs to be helped. When we talk about help, we have to keep in mind that we only help when our way of acting matches the type of help that the person who needs it needs. To do this, start by asking how you could be of help. Try to define with the person with depression what their needs are with respect to you and to specify what kind of help they might need, and if this help fits with what you can offer them.
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