For two years, every day we say to someone or hear others say phrases like these: "keep taking care of us", "let's not let our guard down, you take care of yourself, we all take care of ourselves", "take care", "take care of yourself" , "today more than ever, we must take care of each other", "you have to take care of yourself", "taking care of ourselves is everyone's task", "let's take care of each other".
With the pandemic, we use these phrases when we say goodbye to friends and family, also when we try to comfort someone who has been infected. Care became a slogan, a common place especially in government campaigns. The calls to take care of ourselves and take care of ourselves intensify during the so-called waves of contagion, however, it does not seem to have the same meaning for those who oppose the use of face masks in public places, or for those who defend their right not to be vaccinated.
There is no doubt, care is a serious thing, especially in these times and circumstances, something absolutely necessary, a matter of life or death in many cases. But what do we understand by care? What does it mean and what does it imply? Who or what should be cared for and how should it be done? Who requires care and when? Who cares for whom?
Clarifying some basic issues
From common sense, care is understood as attending to the basic needs of people who are dependent; We tend to think that only minors, people with a disability or chronic illness, or the elderly, are the only ones who require care because they cannot fend for themselves.
Faced with the pandemic that more than once has claimed to be over, this approach to care is extremely poor, restrictive and insufficient to understand the care crisis that Covid-19 triggered. We need a much broader perspective, starting by recognizing some fundamental issues that are often minimized or made invisible.
In short, and this is the point of view from which we are interested in treating the subject, care is a political problem; caring is vital for the maintenance of the polis, that is, of a territory that is common to us, and for this reason, it is never exempt from conflicts. If something has caused the pandemic, it is precisely that: conflicts.
Although official publicity crushes phrases about care every day, but it is difficult, we are not born knowing how to care and not everyone cares in the same proportion as they receive care. When caring, the body and the affections are put, time, energy and effort are allocated, the affections are involved, that is why it tires, even exhausts. Hence the importance of mutual care, even more so in these pandemic times.
Lessons on caring for each other
First. Thanks to feminist struggles, the need and value of care are beginning to be recognized; The pandemic has also done its part, revealing the vulnerability of life, bodies, family relationships and ties of all kinds. Faced with this scenario, mutual care has been highlighted as fundamental.
Second. If what we want is to escape from that "new normality", which is nothing other than the old normality, the same one that brought us here, to a selfish society indifferent to the suffering of others, where rational choice permeates our little ones and great acts, mutual care emerges as a possible way out of the self-destruction in which we seem determined, beginning with capital and its representatives.
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Third. Mutual care is work that translates into concrete support actions; it is also a concern, commitment and desire to act together with others for a common benefit. Hence, our daily actions must be aimed at care and its constant practice, making it clear that it is not limited to attending to physical or material needs, it includes active listening and constant conversation, among other features. Talk about the present and the past, also about conflictive topics, in short, maintain an open conversation with the other without squirming, running or attacking because we do not agree.
Quarter. If we recognize and above all assume that we are all born and are vulnerable, and therefore we all need to be cared for, we will be closer to escaping, fleeing from that widespread idea of success and achievement as a result of individual effort, so enemy of the common. Nor should we go to the extreme, complacency and individual sacrifice do not help, political-affective tact is necessary to nurture the links, and adjust and resize them along the way.
Fifth. But beware! Let's not romanticize care. Caring can be annoying, tiring and exhausting because of what it represents for those who care: it involves energy, effort and time dedicated to others. It can also be annoying for the care receiver, especially when he feels vulnerable, useless to fend for himself to the point of desperation. During the pandemic, many people have felt like this, powerless in the face of a reality as complex as the one that the pandemic put in front of us.
Sixth. We will hardly be able to escape and overcome feelings like these, which are not an individual problem for each one, on the contrary, this is how many of us feel, hence the importance of mutual care as a political problem. Socio-emotional education, empathy and resilience are aspirin for the ills of our time, caused by a system that doesn't care about us. Therefore, they are remedies that do not go to the causes of the problem, they only seek to enable us to continue working.
Seventh. Active listening, constant conversation with those who feel vulnerable, threatened and desperate, sensitizes others, helps them learn to care for those they care for. And in this process, avoiding complacency is essential.
Eighth. It is true that care has become a business, often the cause of disputes between members of a family. Mutual care distances itself from profit, it does not seek commercialization, at the same time it combats the naturalization of care work as exclusive to women, as well as the pejorative assessment of care and paid care. The mutual implies taking charge of the debt of care, commitment, concern and back and forth attention.
Ninth. Mutual care is an art, it is built on the relationship and practice with others. Hence, the line that divides the act of caring and educating is imperceptible, especially in the face of the need for warmth, to be together and to share. That is precisely what teachers have done during the pandemic, sustain life by nurturing ties with their students, but at the same time, it is nourished by their presence, reactions, expressions of affection, even if it is virtually. Because let's say it clearly, if the educational system is still standing and school still makes sense for girls and young people, it is largely thanks to that.
Tenth. To be shared and warm, it is necessary to develop affection, bonds of friendship, care and support among those who care for each other. A major obstacle to achieving this is that whoever takes care of the care feels and knows he or she is superior to the person who does it. It is important to move this position in the conversation so that affection moves thought and even with differences, mutual care is carried.
In short, and following Marina Garcés[1], caring is a way of fighting against the powers that harm human and non-human life, as well as a means of creating another, more habitable world. Certainly, the pandemic has put us in front of the mirror of our vulnerability, that which characterizes us and of which we are made, although we do not recognize it because it is not well seen in these times of entrenched individualism. Despite everything, rebellious teaching has shown that it is capable of sustaining life by taking advantage of the great collective power of invention and practical resolution of problems that are common to us.
[1] Garcés, M. (2018) New radical illustration. Barcelona, Editorial Anagrama.
Posted in Magisterial Insurgency